Thank God, I No Longer Peer Into the Darkness
Praise the Lord, Yahweh hath opened mine eyes and I see a light shimmering brightly ahead. Thank God, I no longer peer into darkness and no longer do I fear my convictions. A heavy burden hath been lifted from my bosom and my path glows clearly ahead.
I have found the answers to my long search for truth.
Ever since I became a born again Christian on my 24th birthday over 47 years ago, I have sought after proof positive to my many unanswered misgivings; something beyond blind faith, something beyond, because the bible tells me so. I have always been a Doubting Thomas, and telling me to, ‘just accept it’ has never cooled my fire.
Until a few days ago, when I stumbled onto the correct pathway, I had been searching in all the wrong places. Mainly the sacred writings of the Christian’s Holy Bible, that which I now have proof, to my satisfaction, is a blatant plagiarized myth filled with fictionalized characters. The Book is a product of man’s desire to prove to himself , as well as others, that the god of his dreams is truly a living god.
When I first became a believer all those decades ago, I was no different than other believers. I blindly and faithfully followed the doctrine of the church I joined. As I studied the bible, things I anguished over became more numerous, answers less satisfying. “Have faith Brother Ray,” became dreaded words. I was told to continue my studies; this happens to most newbie’s, I was assured.
After a few discontented years of unsatisfied answers, I gave up and became a guilt-ridden backslider. I blamed my lack of faith to be at fault. Several years ago, my desire to find truth began itching again. Now armed with the power of the internet, I renewed my search.
Still, an unsatisfying cloud hovered over me. As I studied religion after religion and learned their similarities and differences, it only reinforced my doubts. The things I originally doubted; i.e. who is God, was there really a Jesus, why was God so jealous, why did he allow, and even encourage, his people to war against one another, why is a child born a sinner, why does it appear he answers the prayers of one and not another? And the list goes on and on. This god I claimed as mine, just didn’t fit the profile he sat down for us to follow. I couldn’t see the reasoning behind His Words. They just didn’t tally.
I became a disbeliever. I feared labeling myself, (a fear installed in me as a child and reinforced when I became a believer), as an Atheist, because I still believed there was a god out there somewhere, but probably not the one described in the Book. Therefore, I chose the safer belief and considered myself an Agnostic. I still felt out of place as though I put myself in limbo. I felt sure something was amuck, not only with the Christian religion, but with all religions, they all had a familiarity about them. What I sought was there. I just couldn’t see it.
Then, behold, there it was. I was in the process of writing a book on how I perceived my newfound beliefs as an agnostic. I researched religion clear back to prehistoric man. I thought I had conjured up a new phrase, i.e. MAN MADE GOD. So just to be on the safe side I googled it. Surprise, someone else had beet me to it. When I recovered from my depression, I began checking out these sites. And low and behold my prayers had been answered, a first for me, even though I knew not whom I was praying to. I found a fabulous site; a young lady who has been researching and writing articles on this subject since 1995. I mean, she has gobs and gobs of them. I couldn’t consume then fast enough, and I still have a long way to go.
Now I’m convinced beyond a doubt there is no true or original religion on this planet, and probably not on any other planet. I now consider myself a firm non-believer. I’m not trying to convert anyone, and I do agree the Book is a good guide to live your life, there’s something in it for everyone, and therein lies its fallacy. If you are interested, check out the site below. It’s amazing. I wish I had found it long ago. I tell you, I’m exhilarated. I’m more excited than when I became a born again believer. I’m as a kid with a new toy.
Click here if you’re interested. http://truthbeknown.com
