How I Became an Atheist

I became a born-again-Christian at the age of twenty-four and for two years thereafter, I devoted all my spare time to studying religion and the Bible. One of the things that amazed me was how most religions have similar stories of how God created Earth, the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve, the flood and the virgin birth and other stories. I thought the bible was a guidebook written for different religions. Sure, people referred to it as God's word, but I never took it literally. Each religion had its own version. My thoughts were, if so many religions held similar beliefs, then it must be true, i.e., there is a God. I still had many doubts about the parables I read in the Bible. I never took them seriously. They were stories to illustrate, lessons to learn how a god-fearing person should live and act. Looking back now, I realize how much a naive hillbilly I was, even though at twenty-four I had seen most of the world and had a wife and five kids. I had an eighth grade education and could even read albeit slowly.

To me, the Old Testament was just that, OLD and meant for the peoples of that time. God was angry and wanted to teach his children. He seemed, at least to me, to be an evil god intent on ridding the world of those who did not obey Him, as he did when he rid the vermin with the flood. He used his chosen people to do His dirty work, instructing them on how to do it. He seemed to take pleasure in toying with those He disliked, i.e., the Pharaoh in Exodus when he hardened the pharaoh's heart time after time. How could a loving god do that, even to an enemy?

Maybe that is why I was such a terrible father. At that time, I was right in the middle of raising five kids. I let my temper rule and was quick with the strap, as was my father when raising me.

When I could find neither rhyme nor reason in my studying of religion, I became a backslider and withdrew from the church. I rarely attended services any longer. For the next forty years, I wondered the world, married three times and finally settled down in the Florida panhandle with my third wife, a Russian with deep-seated Orthodox beliefs. She still loves me even after I declared myself an atheist. However, she grew up where the state forced everyone into atheism. Can you imagine having to hide the fact you were of a religion disapproved by your government, worshiping in secrecy? Scared to mention to your child that there was a god. Russia has a horrific history of strife between government and church. We have no idea how lucky we are here.

Religion caught my fancy again when I neared my seventieth year on this planet. I felt certain hell waited for my arrival, so, I must have been looking for a way out of that predicament It was not a conscious thought I merely sought more information. While cruising over the internet, I began seeing books about doubting God's existence. Did they actually allow this stuff on the internet? Was that not blasphemy? Thus began my enlightenment.

As it was when I began my studies of religion, many years ago, so it was with my new ventures of finding a way out of going to hell. I learned that the many religions did have similar stories, however, these stories came from other stories that started thousands of years before Christianity, Buddhism and Muslim came along. They did not come about spontaneously some three or six thousand years ago. Like the evolution of man, which I have always believed in, so it was with religion. I never did believe a god created us. It was just too out of this world to believe. Again, I thought this was just a story created by our ignorant precursors. It evolved from the time our cave dwelling ancestors began searching for answers to why they were here, why things were how they were. Thus, the birth of Shamanism and the first time man began having conversations with invisible deities and performing magic tricks for his brethren. The only difference between a 50 thousand-year-old shaman and a modern day evangelic preacher is the size of their audience.

My new findings were more logical than what I found in the Bible and at church services. I often thought preachers were performing for their flocks, showing them the way. They mostly preached only the good parts of the Bible, and of course, the threatening parts, where, you do this or you are going to hell. I guess that is their purpose, though. They kept me in line for a couple of years. When I felt I had a slim-to-none chance of getting out of going to hell, I gave up. Doing good deeds, they say, never gets one to heaven either. Is that were the saying "you're damned if you do and damned if you don't" came from?

Well, I ain't gotta worry bout that no moe. I'm as much at peace as the most faithful of Christians. The only guilt I carry is that of not being a good father.

When I had my revelation, and began studying non-religious beliefs, I thought I fit into an agnostic slot. I did not believe in the god theists believed in. I disliked the term atheist mainly because of my false conception that atheists were evil, devil worshipers I acquired this concept when I was a kid and listened to adults talk about atheists, which was seldom. I never said the word, in fear that I would be stricken dead.

As I studied further the beliefs of each, I decided I was an atheist. As it stands now, I believe in no gods. However, that does not preclude that sometime in the future a god may make itself known. It is like our universe; at this time, no one can definitely state there are more universes out there. We simply cannot see that far yet. If there is a god out there, it is hiding or is busy elsewhere, maybe putting together another universe. When and if that time comes, I believe many will be surprised. That god will be nothing like anyone now believes.

Thanks and have a pleasant day, Ray

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WHY ARE THEIST AND ATHEIST FANATICS?

AN AGNOSTIC’S POINT OF VIEW

While I prefer to be called a non-believer, I am forced into the category of being an agnostic, and I don’t like any of the levels of being an agnostic, such as agnostic-theist or agnostic atheist. To me theism is a group of religious fanatics no matter what they believe, and atheism is a group of fanatics who believe in no religion or god at all. I, on the other hand, am fanatical about nothing.

Theists think an agnostic is only a mixed-up, back slider who, for some obscene reason or another, has been lured away from the flock. Being the good little, blind-faith followers they are, they continually try guiding the lost one back under the wing of religion, and they say they will pray for your soul, singly and collectively, even though the Good Book tells them they should only pray in private. Boy, has that one been abused. Theists seem to thrive on praying in the company of others.  

The atheists, on the other hand, cannot understand why an agnostic will not make a firm commitment on either believing there is a god or there is no god. It’s either all black or all white to them. And they get really upset because one cannot see their point. They call agnostics cowards, fence sitters and other unsavory things. Atheists are fanatical in the opposite direction of theists. They believe in no god whatsoever.

Why must one be fanatical one way or another. Religious fanaticism is something that turned me away for my faith in the beginning; that and hypocrisy were the two big ones. Neither atheist nor theist can prove their claim. However, the theist’s claim that their god and their messiah are real, can be easily disproven.

All one has to do is study the history of religion, which I will not get into here. If you decide to pursue this, keep an open mind. If you go at it as a blind faith follower, you will miss it all. In fact, if you carefully study your bible and ask logical questions about illogical happenings, you will see the light. One hint, you will not find a loving god there.

CONFESSIONS OF A NONBELIEVER

THEIST, ATHEIST OR AGNOSTIC, FANATICS OR COWARDS?

Theists are religious fanatics. The opposite of theist, atheist, is also a class of fanatics. Between these two extremes lays the realm of the agnostics. Like the thousands of different religious sects and groups around the world, agnostics are subdivided into many levels of disbelief, all hated and kicked around by atheists and theists alike. They call us cowards, fence-sitters, wishy-washy and lazy, to name a few of the less derogatory. Although I hate being labeled, I am forced into being called an agnostic, even though there is no comfortable sect for me within this group.

Theists, especially Christians warn us that we are going to burn in hell if we don’t change our heathen ways, and then they threaten to pray for us, both of which mean little to a nonbeliever. They are going to prey to a god we don’t believe in? They want to scare us into reverting to theism not realizing most agnostics have been down that road? Don’t get me wrong, not all theists are like this. There are some with whom one can have a calm, intelligent conversation with.

Atheists tell us “ get off the fence and man up. You know there’s no god out there.”

“No. I don’t. Prove it to me.”

I’d rather listen to a theist try to prove that God does exist, even though I lean toward the atheist’s point of view. Theist cannot get past “it’s in the Bible” stage. And this is so very simple to disprove to a logical person, not that all theist are illogical. It’s impossible to break them away from their brainwashed beliefs in the Bible. But then, who would want to. Certainly not me. Having beliefs that firmly entrenched is admirable whether or not they are wrong. If it makes their lives easier and happier,  what’s the harm? If they are correct, hallelujah. No one is going to get lonely in hell. If not, who’s going to know the difference?

I’m not seeking to build up a group of followers or even trying to add to the expanding group of the nonreligious who, by the way, now rank third on Religions by Adherents Chart. In the last ten years it has passed Hinduism and is quickly gaining ground on Muslims and Christianity. Here are the first 4 on the list.    

Christianity 33% steady

Muslims 21% up 1.4%

Nonreligious 16% up 3.3%

Hinduism 14% up .6%

Religions by Adherents

The Big Religious Chart

Atheists have a firm belief that no god or gods exists. The big bang happened and here we are 13.75 billion years, plus or minus a few days, later. He really has nothing to prove. Anyone has the right to not believe what he/she wishes.

Theists however, believe in their God. Makes no difference if others believe in what is supposed to be the same god only in different ways. The God of the Bible is one god, correct? Yet, different religions and sects have split him up until there is nothing left of the original God. This has been something I could never figure out when I was a believer. But now I know why.

However, if someone believes in something he/she must be prepared to prove, logically, the existence of whatever it is. I believe there are few theists who are prepared to attempt this without using the bible or making reference to it. I have found proof, to my satisfaction, the bible is a fake. To my way of thinking, this means that the God of the Bible doesn’t and never has existed. This is fodder for another article.

Therefore, the agnostic in me is, I don’t believe in the God of the Bible. I don’t deny there may be a god out there somewhere and maybe he/she/it is not ready to reveal his/her/its self to us and probably never will. Scientist’s explanation of the big band theory is no more logical than the theist’s believe their god created it all. So, believe in what you like. I am now content in mine. I write of my agnostic ways in hope of providing to others who, like me, have been or are stuck in limbo. Limbo, the purgatory of not knowing.

WHAT ARE YOUR BELIEFS?

AGNOSTIC, ATHEIST, THEIST

WHAT ARE YOUR BELIEFS?

What are your beliefs? A question I’ve been asked more and more of late. Are you an Agnostic, an Atheist or a Theist or a mixture of all? I hesitate to answer. I can’t say, without a doubt what I am. It seems people have a dire need to know the slot where someone fits in. You must be labeled, put in a category all snug and comfy. “There goes George. He’s a Catholic, or a Baptist,” of which there are a blue million different denominations, or, “Old Sambo there, he’s an Atheist, Agnostic or Theist.” Immediately one knows exactly what your beliefs are as though it makes a difference. It isn’t so.

First off I don’t like a label placed on my forehead. Besides I don’t fit wholly into any one of these fields. Yes I’m a back-sliding, non-believer, but I don’t consider myself to be a Theist, nor an Agnostic or an Atheist. I gave up my beliefs a long time ago, before I knew what these labels meant. Maybe there is a god out there somewhere, but it’s surely not the god conjured up by man thousands and hundreds of thousands of years ago and then changed, modified to fit his needs over time. These changes are still taking place. And man still thinks his conjured up god is the only true god.

I read an article this morning about the different beliefs of Agnostics, Atheists and Theists and different combinations of the three, and I still don’t see a place where I would fit in, thank goodness. There are so many different beliefs and sects out there, I don’t think anyone has an accurate count. Is this what a god would want. Especially when each sect is fighting and killing the other over whose god is the true god.

I can emphatically state that I don’t believe in the man-made god depicted in the bible. There is too much out there proving otherwise, if one only opened h/her mind. I would never attempt to show or sway a true blue Christian or believer otherwise. Neither do I ardently dispel that a god of some kind exists somewhere. If there is and we all don’t agree that he, she it is the true god, we as a human race are doomed without an afterlife; the one thing we all are striving for. No god is going to abide by what we are doing to ourselves, and all in the name of a god that doesn’t exist. It’s truly ludicrous.

The god of today, the one divided into thousands of gods, each fulfilling the beliefs of one sect or another, is no better and probably worse than the one prehistoric man conjured up to praise for providing him with food to fill his empty belly, and for providing him with light and warmth from the Sun. Mother Earth and Father Sky are the ones we should still be giving thanks to. In the end they are the ones that are going to determine our outcome.

If there is a god out there, he surely provided these for our benefit. Another question is, does he rein over the universe, the galaxy, our small solar system or is there something more expansive out there, something our greatest telescopes, as of yet, are unable to view.

Maybe we ought to have a book burning like the religious leaders had in the past, i.e. burning anything contrary to their beliefs or that might threaten what they have decided was right for man. The GOOD BOOK, plainly, under close scrutiny, is a plagiarized writing of previously pagan gods and stories that came long before someone decided there should be only one god, needs to be destroyed, or, at least rewritten. Take out all the horror stories, all the threats of facing hell and damnation for not following THE WORD to the letter. No true or loving god would use such scare tactics. Leave in the positive things, the love thy neighbor, do good, spread happiness. Remember honey attracts more flies than vinegar. I remember my dog training days; a soft gentle hand and voice accomplishes much more than harsh words or the whip. It’s so sad I didn’t apply this to raising my children.

No one can say they follow all ten commandments and there probably has never been such a person. This world would be one big monastery if we had.

Live healthy, do good things and love each other. The hippy movement of the sixties never really caught on like it should have. If there is a god out there, he, she, it will notice. And you don’t have to spell his name with a capital g; just plain God is so impersonal, especially when there are so many out there.

Recovering from religion, who am I and who is God

Recovering from religion, who am I and who is God? PART ONE


I no longer claim to be a Christian, nor am I a conformed atheist. Neither of these religions, and they are religions, can prove or disprove their beliefs. So I take the stand of an agnostic, a word coined by Thomas Henry Huxley who said: “Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or believes that for which he has no grounds for professing to believe.” That’s me 'show me brother,' I've been called a Doubting Thomas more than a few times in my life. Another Thomas, the disciple, I believe was the first agnostic long before the word was coined. But then, this was just a story which, many apostles, in a frenzy, jumped on the bandwagon to get their stories published. I feel sure there were others long before that.

In my opinion, there are too many religions, all claiming theirs to be the only true one. This makes for a lot of Gods. I offer a quote from Stephen F. Roberts: I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer God than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible Gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”

On the other hand, here is another quote this one from one of the Bible writers or editors and there are more than a few who have changed their views after editing the Bible. ??? Henry Cadbury, the biblical scholar who contributed to the new Revised Standard Version of the Bible said, "I can describe myself as no ardent theist or atheist." To me, hope, faith and belief mean little, if all one can say is, "it's in the Bible, it's God's will." No one can say they know God's will, and entity whose existence cannot be confirmed.
I'll post part two within the next two days.