SEARCHING FOR AN IDENTITY

Am I an atheist or what?

A few years back, I finally realized I was, and probably always have been, a disbeliever in any god. It was no big revelation, i.e., I did not jump up and down with glee and scream out that I had finally seen the light. I did realize I was not a Christian. However, that too, was no big revelation. I had shunned religion most of my life. Twice I married religious women, one of which was a hard-shell fanatic and a blatant gossiper, two things I dislike with a passion. Of course, this did not make my decision an easy task. I have never met or known a non-believer until a couple weeks ago. As a kid I had overheard adults talking about those devil worshiping atheist. It wasn't that. I just felt in my heart that there was no god, or at least, I felt all the gods people worship only exist in their minds. If there is a god, there is only one.

A need to fit in a category

Man needs to know where everyone is coming from, figuratively and literally. One feels comfortable around others who think and act alike. Thus, it stirs up fewer complications. Knowing just what you are or what you believe in stretches back beyond our cave dwelling ancestors.

Back then our precursors lived in small bands, it was crucial that all knew what each member of the clan was. What each could do, how each reacted to outside stimulus. This was crucial to the survival of the band. Every member depended on every other member. Chasing a herd of mammoths over a cliff required the cooperation of all members. Their existence demanded it. They had to outsmart their gods who provided them with nourishment. These days our gods demand sacrificial offerings, in whatever form, to feed them.

Since it is human nature for us to paste labels on our foreheads, I felt obligated to figure out just what it was that I was. What category of disbelief should I wear on my chest? I dare not offend anyone.

I spent a few days searching the internet. I narrowed my choices down to two, i.e., atheist or agnostic. I found that agnostics only doubted the existence of gods. Knowing a god or gods do not exist is not provable. However, atheists knew no gods exist. They say a god's existence is not provable. Something else irked me about these two groups. Like different religions, these two nonreligious groups consist of many levels of disbelief. Nothing seems easy in this world. There are too many shades of gray, and everyone believes their shade is the only true shade.

Decisions, decisions, what is I?

I did not have the slightest idea what an agnostic was when I started my research. I thought atheists were devil worshipers. My parents planted that in my pea brain when I was a child.

Personally, I dislike labels. I am Me, i.e., I belong to a special group of Me. Me alone, different from all others. That is not good enough. They say I must be either an agnostic or an atheist.

Having a label, one can say, "Ah, yes. You are an atheist, an agnostic, a Protestant, a Catholic or a Buddhist. I see what you are. I do not like what you are, because what you think is wrong. What I think is better.

I did not like this, but I could accept it. This seemed simple enough so I sighed up for a title of agnostic. Atheist seemed a little strong for me.

However, some want more. They need to delve deeper into just what level of whatever you are, and it goes on and on until they know the exact seat you sit in when you attend services at your preferred house of warship.

So, it went with me. I first labeled myself an agnostic because I no longer believed there is a god, i.e., none of the gods people warship on this planet anyway. I felt there might be a god out there somewhere. Who knows? We still have a lot to learn about our world, our galaxy, our universe. For a while, this pacified me. As I studied further, I felt I had to be more specific. Atheists condemn agnostics. They say agnostics are weaklings, cowards, too scared to take a firm stand.

These are fighting words to a 20-year war veteran. I studied more. I relented and took the position of an atheist. However, as I said, like different denominations of religious groups, so it goes with atheist and agnostics groups. I dug deeper. I still believe all the gods humans worship are nonexistent.

Once again, I categorize myself as a nonbeliever. I never felt comfortable being an atheist. Like some religions, they seem too fanatical. I do not allow myself to become fanatical about anything. Fanaticism is one reason why I wandered from my religious beliefs. A fanatic cannot see clearly. Fanatic disbelievers are no better than are blind faith followers. Extremism does not allow one to see logically.

Coming to terms

Who am I to say there are positively no gods out there somewhere? When we are able to see beyond our universe, we may know more about gods. Maybe by then we all will realize we need no god to affirm our existence. Maybe by then we will learn how to exist peacefully instead of killing each other because of our beliefs or lack of them. Maybe by then we will find the true God out there and learn why it placed us here and then forgot us. Thanks and have a pleasant day. Ray

CONFESSIONS OF A NONBELIEVER

THEIST, ATHEIST OR AGNOSTIC, FANATICS OR COWARDS?

Theists are religious fanatics. The opposite of theist, atheist, is also a class of fanatics. Between these two extremes lays the realm of the agnostics. Like the thousands of different religious sects and groups around the world, agnostics are subdivided into many levels of disbelief, all hated and kicked around by atheists and theists alike. They call us cowards, fence-sitters, wishy-washy and lazy, to name a few of the less derogatory. Although I hate being labeled, I am forced into being called an agnostic, even though there is no comfortable sect for me within this group.

Theists, especially Christians warn us that we are going to burn in hell if we don’t change our heathen ways, and then they threaten to pray for us, both of which mean little to a nonbeliever. They are going to prey to a god we don’t believe in? They want to scare us into reverting to theism not realizing most agnostics have been down that road? Don’t get me wrong, not all theists are like this. There are some with whom one can have a calm, intelligent conversation with.

Atheists tell us “ get off the fence and man up. You know there’s no god out there.”

“No. I don’t. Prove it to me.”

I’d rather listen to a theist try to prove that God does exist, even though I lean toward the atheist’s point of view. Theist cannot get past “it’s in the Bible” stage. And this is so very simple to disprove to a logical person, not that all theist are illogical. It’s impossible to break them away from their brainwashed beliefs in the Bible. But then, who would want to. Certainly not me. Having beliefs that firmly entrenched is admirable whether or not they are wrong. If it makes their lives easier and happier,  what’s the harm? If they are correct, hallelujah. No one is going to get lonely in hell. If not, who’s going to know the difference?

I’m not seeking to build up a group of followers or even trying to add to the expanding group of the nonreligious who, by the way, now rank third on Religions by Adherents Chart. In the last ten years it has passed Hinduism and is quickly gaining ground on Muslims and Christianity. Here are the first 4 on the list.    

Christianity 33% steady

Muslims 21% up 1.4%

Nonreligious 16% up 3.3%

Hinduism 14% up .6%

Religions by Adherents

The Big Religious Chart

Atheists have a firm belief that no god or gods exists. The big bang happened and here we are 13.75 billion years, plus or minus a few days, later. He really has nothing to prove. Anyone has the right to not believe what he/she wishes.

Theists however, believe in their God. Makes no difference if others believe in what is supposed to be the same god only in different ways. The God of the Bible is one god, correct? Yet, different religions and sects have split him up until there is nothing left of the original God. This has been something I could never figure out when I was a believer. But now I know why.

However, if someone believes in something he/she must be prepared to prove, logically, the existence of whatever it is. I believe there are few theists who are prepared to attempt this without using the bible or making reference to it. I have found proof, to my satisfaction, the bible is a fake. To my way of thinking, this means that the God of the Bible doesn’t and never has existed. This is fodder for another article.

Therefore, the agnostic in me is, I don’t believe in the God of the Bible. I don’t deny there may be a god out there somewhere and maybe he/she/it is not ready to reveal his/her/its self to us and probably never will. Scientist’s explanation of the big band theory is no more logical than the theist’s believe their god created it all. So, believe in what you like. I am now content in mine. I write of my agnostic ways in hope of providing to others who, like me, have been or are stuck in limbo. Limbo, the purgatory of not knowing.

WHAT ARE YOUR BELIEFS?

AGNOSTIC, ATHEIST, THEIST

WHAT ARE YOUR BELIEFS?

What are your beliefs? A question I’ve been asked more and more of late. Are you an Agnostic, an Atheist or a Theist or a mixture of all? I hesitate to answer. I can’t say, without a doubt what I am. It seems people have a dire need to know the slot where someone fits in. You must be labeled, put in a category all snug and comfy. “There goes George. He’s a Catholic, or a Baptist,” of which there are a blue million different denominations, or, “Old Sambo there, he’s an Atheist, Agnostic or Theist.” Immediately one knows exactly what your beliefs are as though it makes a difference. It isn’t so.

First off I don’t like a label placed on my forehead. Besides I don’t fit wholly into any one of these fields. Yes I’m a back-sliding, non-believer, but I don’t consider myself to be a Theist, nor an Agnostic or an Atheist. I gave up my beliefs a long time ago, before I knew what these labels meant. Maybe there is a god out there somewhere, but it’s surely not the god conjured up by man thousands and hundreds of thousands of years ago and then changed, modified to fit his needs over time. These changes are still taking place. And man still thinks his conjured up god is the only true god.

I read an article this morning about the different beliefs of Agnostics, Atheists and Theists and different combinations of the three, and I still don’t see a place where I would fit in, thank goodness. There are so many different beliefs and sects out there, I don’t think anyone has an accurate count. Is this what a god would want. Especially when each sect is fighting and killing the other over whose god is the true god.

I can emphatically state that I don’t believe in the man-made god depicted in the bible. There is too much out there proving otherwise, if one only opened h/her mind. I would never attempt to show or sway a true blue Christian or believer otherwise. Neither do I ardently dispel that a god of some kind exists somewhere. If there is and we all don’t agree that he, she it is the true god, we as a human race are doomed without an afterlife; the one thing we all are striving for. No god is going to abide by what we are doing to ourselves, and all in the name of a god that doesn’t exist. It’s truly ludicrous.

The god of today, the one divided into thousands of gods, each fulfilling the beliefs of one sect or another, is no better and probably worse than the one prehistoric man conjured up to praise for providing him with food to fill his empty belly, and for providing him with light and warmth from the Sun. Mother Earth and Father Sky are the ones we should still be giving thanks to. In the end they are the ones that are going to determine our outcome.

If there is a god out there, he surely provided these for our benefit. Another question is, does he rein over the universe, the galaxy, our small solar system or is there something more expansive out there, something our greatest telescopes, as of yet, are unable to view.

Maybe we ought to have a book burning like the religious leaders had in the past, i.e. burning anything contrary to their beliefs or that might threaten what they have decided was right for man. The GOOD BOOK, plainly, under close scrutiny, is a plagiarized writing of previously pagan gods and stories that came long before someone decided there should be only one god, needs to be destroyed, or, at least rewritten. Take out all the horror stories, all the threats of facing hell and damnation for not following THE WORD to the letter. No true or loving god would use such scare tactics. Leave in the positive things, the love thy neighbor, do good, spread happiness. Remember honey attracts more flies than vinegar. I remember my dog training days; a soft gentle hand and voice accomplishes much more than harsh words or the whip. It’s so sad I didn’t apply this to raising my children.

No one can say they follow all ten commandments and there probably has never been such a person. This world would be one big monastery if we had.

Live healthy, do good things and love each other. The hippy movement of the sixties never really caught on like it should have. If there is a god out there, he, she, it will notice. And you don’t have to spell his name with a capital g; just plain God is so impersonal, especially when there are so many out there.

Recovering from religion, who am I and who is God

Recovering from religion, who am I and who is God? PART ONE


I no longer claim to be a Christian, nor am I a conformed atheist. Neither of these religions, and they are religions, can prove or disprove their beliefs. So I take the stand of an agnostic, a word coined by Thomas Henry Huxley who said: “Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or believes that for which he has no grounds for professing to believe.” That’s me 'show me brother,' I've been called a Doubting Thomas more than a few times in my life. Another Thomas, the disciple, I believe was the first agnostic long before the word was coined. But then, this was just a story which, many apostles, in a frenzy, jumped on the bandwagon to get their stories published. I feel sure there were others long before that.

In my opinion, there are too many religions, all claiming theirs to be the only true one. This makes for a lot of Gods. I offer a quote from Stephen F. Roberts: I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer God than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible Gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”

On the other hand, here is another quote this one from one of the Bible writers or editors and there are more than a few who have changed their views after editing the Bible. ??? Henry Cadbury, the biblical scholar who contributed to the new Revised Standard Version of the Bible said, "I can describe myself as no ardent theist or atheist." To me, hope, faith and belief mean little, if all one can say is, "it's in the Bible, it's God's will." No one can say they know God's will, and entity whose existence cannot be confirmed.
I'll post part two within the next two days.