SEARCHING FOR AN IDENTITY

Am I an atheist or what?

A few years back, I finally realized I was, and probably always have been, a disbeliever in any god. It was no big revelation, i.e., I did not jump up and down with glee and scream out that I had finally seen the light. I did realize I was not a Christian. However, that too, was no big revelation. I had shunned religion most of my life. Twice I married religious women, one of which was a hard-shell fanatic and a blatant gossiper, two things I dislike with a passion. Of course, this did not make my decision an easy task. I have never met or known a non-believer until a couple weeks ago. As a kid I had overheard adults talking about those devil worshiping atheist. It wasn't that. I just felt in my heart that there was no god, or at least, I felt all the gods people worship only exist in their minds. If there is a god, there is only one.

A need to fit in a category

Man needs to know where everyone is coming from, figuratively and literally. One feels comfortable around others who think and act alike. Thus, it stirs up fewer complications. Knowing just what you are or what you believe in stretches back beyond our cave dwelling ancestors.

Back then our precursors lived in small bands, it was crucial that all knew what each member of the clan was. What each could do, how each reacted to outside stimulus. This was crucial to the survival of the band. Every member depended on every other member. Chasing a herd of mammoths over a cliff required the cooperation of all members. Their existence demanded it. They had to outsmart their gods who provided them with nourishment. These days our gods demand sacrificial offerings, in whatever form, to feed them.

Since it is human nature for us to paste labels on our foreheads, I felt obligated to figure out just what it was that I was. What category of disbelief should I wear on my chest? I dare not offend anyone.

I spent a few days searching the internet. I narrowed my choices down to two, i.e., atheist or agnostic. I found that agnostics only doubted the existence of gods. Knowing a god or gods do not exist is not provable. However, atheists knew no gods exist. They say a god's existence is not provable. Something else irked me about these two groups. Like different religions, these two nonreligious groups consist of many levels of disbelief. Nothing seems easy in this world. There are too many shades of gray, and everyone believes their shade is the only true shade.

Decisions, decisions, what is I?

I did not have the slightest idea what an agnostic was when I started my research. I thought atheists were devil worshipers. My parents planted that in my pea brain when I was a child.

Personally, I dislike labels. I am Me, i.e., I belong to a special group of Me. Me alone, different from all others. That is not good enough. They say I must be either an agnostic or an atheist.

Having a label, one can say, "Ah, yes. You are an atheist, an agnostic, a Protestant, a Catholic or a Buddhist. I see what you are. I do not like what you are, because what you think is wrong. What I think is better.

I did not like this, but I could accept it. This seemed simple enough so I sighed up for a title of agnostic. Atheist seemed a little strong for me.

However, some want more. They need to delve deeper into just what level of whatever you are, and it goes on and on until they know the exact seat you sit in when you attend services at your preferred house of warship.

So, it went with me. I first labeled myself an agnostic because I no longer believed there is a god, i.e., none of the gods people warship on this planet anyway. I felt there might be a god out there somewhere. Who knows? We still have a lot to learn about our world, our galaxy, our universe. For a while, this pacified me. As I studied further, I felt I had to be more specific. Atheists condemn agnostics. They say agnostics are weaklings, cowards, too scared to take a firm stand.

These are fighting words to a 20-year war veteran. I studied more. I relented and took the position of an atheist. However, as I said, like different denominations of religious groups, so it goes with atheist and agnostics groups. I dug deeper. I still believe all the gods humans worship are nonexistent.

Once again, I categorize myself as a nonbeliever. I never felt comfortable being an atheist. Like some religions, they seem too fanatical. I do not allow myself to become fanatical about anything. Fanaticism is one reason why I wandered from my religious beliefs. A fanatic cannot see clearly. Fanatic disbelievers are no better than are blind faith followers. Extremism does not allow one to see logically.

Coming to terms

Who am I to say there are positively no gods out there somewhere? When we are able to see beyond our universe, we may know more about gods. Maybe by then we all will realize we need no god to affirm our existence. Maybe by then we will learn how to exist peacefully instead of killing each other because of our beliefs or lack of them. Maybe by then we will find the true God out there and learn why it placed us here and then forgot us. Thanks and have a pleasant day. Ray

THOUGHTS ON RELIGION’S FUTURE

Is There a Future for Religion?

History

While cruising over the internet, I keep coming across more young adults, high school and college students, professing their atheistic beliefs, joining or establishing atheists groups and setting up blogs and web sites to express their views and beliefs. I remember, as a youth, it was blasphemous to utter the word atheist, and the subject was discussed in hushed whispers. It was on the same level as being gay or part of a mixed race marriage. Admitting you were party to any of these put you in jeopardy of being driven from your family, church and society. I remember my own feelings about these rebel rousers of that time. I thought they were evil, devil worshipers who, most certainly, were going to burn in hell forever and a day. That means a day longer than born again believers would spend in heaven. I wasn’t religious, in that I didn’t go to church every Sunday or every other Sunday. I may have attended a few times a year with my mother who, in our family, came closest to being a Christian. She was the only one in the family that didn’t cuss. I followed the opinions of the adults around me and figured everyone thought that way. It’s no wonder my life was so screwed up for so long.

Modern day beliefs

These days one can profess to be anything one wishes. You still face shunning and banishment from some, but you will never feel alone. In five minutes of computer time, you will find hundreds and thousands of others who share your beliefs or lack thereof. And they aren’t shy about it, in fact, they are quite proud. I’ve even come across blogs of closet atheists/priests who must remain anonymous for fear of losing their livelihood, i.e., they know nothing but the church. Fessing up would put them on the street, homeless and without any means of supporting themselves. There’s no demand for an atheist preacher. Of course, I know many Christians who would say, “That’s just what they deserve.” That is the curse of some Christians. They have no leeway for anyone not of their faith. Now don’t get all fired up. I’m not saying ALL Christians think or feel this way, and the ones that do, have a right to voice their opinion.

Conclusions

Point one: there is something out there for everyone. If you don’t feel comfortable where you are, look around, ask questions and forget what they say about “you can’t find everything on Google.” That’s a guise to keep you from learning the truth.  Do indeed use Google. This is where I found the truth I have been seeking for a coon’s age, and it didn’t come from one place. It’s all over. This truth gave me an exaltation greater than what I felt when I thought I found the light almost a half century ago.

Point two: more people at a younger age are crossing the line between believing and not believing, and they are not waiting as I did, until they reach their mid life crises period or they become a dried up old curmudgeon, to make up their minds. Nonbelievers, for whatever reason, study all religions and know more about the Bible than most blind faith believers. Knowing God, and knowing about God is quite different.

The future

The survey says, more people are selecting nonbeliever as their religion and out of the ones selecting Christian only 20% attend church. It makes one wonder just how many diehard Christians are really out there. If you claim to be a Christian why are you not supporting your beliefs? Never mind, I know the answer.  All one has to do is accept Christ as their savior at some point before they die. Does that mean I’m covered then because I’ve done that once? Some would say we, i.e., us nonbelievers or society as a whole, are going to hell in a hand basket. But then, there are surprisingly few religions that believe there is a hell. Another religion states that only 144,000 of their faithful will go to heaven, eternity on a new Earth for other faithful ones, and animation for all others. In that religion, it appears, Heaven is only open for the best of the best.

I say we are just starting to wake up and see the real light. As more youths grow into adulthood without the pressure of family and society forcing them into a religion they don’t feel comfortable in, it means more children will be raised in a family with an open concept of faith, love and cherishing and a religion that is not bound to ancient beliefs and worshiping an invisible supernatural entity with an uncertain and vague origin. It makes one wonder how long this will take to cover the world to where everyone is working to save the world.   

Think about this, if we all were nonbelievers there would be no cause for the religious wars that have been going on for eons stealing our young men and women from us, i.e., our precious stock for the future. Wouldn’t that be a real blessing?

Again, I thank you for your time. Have a pleasant day.